Starting school: how to support your child when they begin school and what teachers recommend

The first days of term have begun, and for many families, September marks the start of a completely new routine. A new daily routine, a new teacher, new classmates, the journey to school and greater independence can all cause a child to feel excitement, tiredness and uncertainty all at once.

Even if 1 September passed happily, this does not mean that the child has already settled into the new situation. The real adjustment often only takes place over the following weeks, once the initial emotions have subsided and school becomes part of the child’s daily routine.

How can we support a child at the start of their school career so that they feel safe at school, learn to cope more and more independently, and feel confident enough to talk about their worries?

Quick answer: how can you support your child during their first few weeks at school?

Create as calm and predictable a daily routine as possible for your child, keep an eye on their tiredness and how they’re feeling, listen to their experiences at school, and give them more and more opportunities to manage things for themselves. Don’t expect perfect results straight away, and maintain open communication with their teacher.

The most important thing is for the child to realise that they don’t have to know everything straight away at school, and that it’s perfectly normal to ask for help.

The first few weeks of term are a time for settling in

Children react very differently to starting school. One child may be happy to go to school right from the very first days, whilst another may need more time to get used to the new environment, the teacher and their classmates.

Sometimes, signs of tiredness, reluctance or anxiety only become apparent in the second or third week of term. It is therefore not worth judging a child’s adjustment to school based solely on their first day at school.

During the first few weeks, you might want to keep an eye on:

• what mood the child is in when they set off for school in the morning;
• whether and how he talks about his day at school when he gets home;
• how relationships with classmates develop;
• Is he more tired than usual after school?;
• whether there has been a noticeable change in sleep or appetite;
• Is there a particular situation at school that repeatedly causes him concern?

The odd difficult day is quite normal at the start of the school year. The situation requires more attention if the same problem recurs, gets worse or starts to affect the child’s day-to-day well-being.

Don’t overload the first few weeks with too many commitments

Starting school means a huge amount of new information for a child. They have to remember their classroom, the teacher’s instructions, the timetable, the school rules, their classmates’ names, how to use the canteen and the cloakroom, and many other things that adults usually no longer think about.

For this reason, a child may be surprisingly tired after a day at school.

If possible, set aside some time during the first few weeks after school simply for resting, playing, being active and spending time with your family. There’s no need to cram all the new hobbies and extra-curricular activities into the very first weeks of September.

Create an effective morning routine

A peaceful morning helps to reduce unnecessary stress for both the child and the parent.

Most things can be sorted out the night before:

• school bag;
• the necessary textbooks and exercise books;
• sportswear;
• clothes for the following day;
• other things needed for school.

During the first few weeks, a parent can check with their child to make sure they have packed everything they need. Gradually, packing their school bag and looking after their own belongings should become the child’s own responsibility.

The aim is not to expect a child starting first grade to become fully independent right away, but to teach them step by step.

Let the child do as much as possible for themselves

It is often quicker for a parent to pack a child’s school bag, find a missing pencil or get everything ready for the next day themselves. In the long run, however, a child needs the opportunity to practise these skills for themselves.

The child can learn step by step:

• to pack their school bag;
• to check the timetable;
• keep the pencil case tidy;
• to remember the necessary things;
• to get my clothes ready for the next day;
• to tell him if he needs anything at school;
• to ask for help if he doesn’t understand something.

If you occasionally forget something, it doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Learning to take responsibility for your own affairs is also part of your school experience.

“How was school?” doesn’t always provide much information

Naturally, parents want to know how their child got on after a day at school. However, the question ‘How did it go at school?’ is often met with a simple ‘fine’.

Instead, try asking more specific and open-ended questions:

• What was the most interesting thing today?
• Which lesson did you enjoy the most?
• Was anything difficult today?
• Who were you with during the break?
• What made you laugh today?
• Was there anything you didn’t quite understand?
• Has anything happened that you’d like to tell me about?

There is no need to analyse, correct or offer solutions to a child’s answers straight away. Sometimes a child simply needs the chance to talk about their day and to feel that they are really being listened to.

Try to keep a calm attitude towards school

Children are very perceptive when it comes to how their parents talk about school and their teachers.

If an adult has a disagreement with a school or a teacher, it is sensible to discuss the matter directly with the teacher or the school, rather than resolving the conflict through the child.

The teachers’ recommendations also emphasise that a child’s concerns must be listened to, but that the adult’s own calm and balanced attitude helps the child to cope better with the new situation.

This does not mean that problems should be ignored. On the contrary: if something is repeatedly causing a child concern, it is worth finding out more about the situation and, if necessary, contacting the teacher.

Help with homework, but don’t do it for your child

During the first few weeks of school, a child does not just learn to read, write or do maths. They are also learninghow to learn.

A child may need help with prioritising tasks, getting started, or understanding instructions.

If they get stuck on a task, rather than giving the answer straight away, they could, for example, ask:

“How would you go about solving this?”

or

“Which part don’t you understand at the moment?”

A parent’s aim is to help their child find a solution, not to do the task for them.

Recognise the effort, not just the result

At the start of a child’s school career, the most important thing is not how quickly they can do everything.

Even small steps are worth noting:

• “You’ve tried that several times.”
• “You’ve almost packed your school bag all by yourself today.”
• "You found this task easier today than you did yesterday."
• “You didn’t manage it straight away, but you tried again.”

Feedback like this helps children recognise their own progress and understand that making mistakes is a normal part of learning.

Friendships can be just as important as studying

A child’s school experience is not shaped solely by lessons and the teacher. It is also very important whether they have someone in their class to talk to, go to the canteen with or play with during break time.

From time to time, one might ask:

• the child interacts with most in class;
• Does he have someone to spend the break with;
• Does any of his classmates seem particularly nice to him;
• whether any conflicts or unpleasant situations have arisen in the class.

If the child wishes, you can help arrange a meeting with a classmate outside school. Especially during the first few months, a good friendship can make settling into school much easier.

Sleep and rest are particularly important at the start of the school year

A new daily routine, new people, new rules and the constant need to concentrate take a lot out of a child.

If a child is more tired than usual in the evenings at the start of September, this does not automatically mean that something is wrong at school. Their body may simply be adjusting to a new routine.

It is important to ensure that, in addition to school, a child’s day includes plenty of:

• and;
• movement;
• peaceful leisure time;
• playing;
• communication with the family.

If the tiredness is very severe, lasts for a long time or is accompanied by the child’s constant desire to avoid going to school, it is worth looking into the cause more closely.

What should you do if your child says, ‘I don’t want to go to school’?

One morning like that doesn’t necessarily mean there’s a serious problem at school.

Instead of immediately replying, ‘You have to go’, try to find outwhy your child doesn’t want to go to school.

The reason may be very specific:

• the child is simply tired;
• some tasks seem difficult;
• he hasn’t made any friends in class yet;
• someone said something unpleasant;
• he is afraid of making a mistake or of answering in front of the teacher;
• The school day still seems too long to him;
• Some new situations cause uncertainty.

If the same problem keeps cropping up, it’s worth talking to your teacher about it.

What matters is not just whether the child goes to school in the morning, but also what the real reason for their reluctance is.

When should you get in touch with a teacher?

You don’t have to wait until there’s a major problem to speak to your teacher.

It is worth getting in touch, for example, if your child:

• is repeatedly afraid of going to school;
• constantly talks about conflicts with other children;
• feels that there is no one in the class to talk to;
• is unable to understand what is happening at school over a longer period of time;
• is constantly under a great deal of stress after school;
• becomes suddenly reticent when the subject turns to school;
• needs more support with their studies;
• keeps saying that he doesn’t want to go to school.

A parent’s and a teacher’s observations may differ. A child who seems sad or tense at home may behave quite differently at school – and vice versa.

For this reason, a calm discussion with the teacher often helps to provide a much clearer picture of the situation.

School Readiness Card: what do parents need to know in 2026?

From 1 September 2025, the organisation of early years education in Estonia is governed bythe new Early Years Education Act.

The school readiness card helps to provide an overview of a child’s development and school readiness, and to support the transition from nursery to school. Under the Statutes of the Estonian Education Information System (EHIS), the school readiness card is one of the items of information to be recorded in the register for each child.

The school readiness report is not a mark or an exam result given to the child. Parents should familiarise themselves with its contents, particularly if their child needs extra support in certain areas.

If any difficulties arise during the first few weeks of school, the information on the school readiness card can serve as a starting point for the teacher and parent to discuss the child’s needs together.

How are pupils allocated to a school based on their place of residence?

In Estonia, a local authority must ensure that every child subject to compulsory education has the opportunity to acquire a basic education and must assign them to a school in their area of residence in accordance with the procedures established by the local authority.

Under the current Basic Schools and Upper Secondary Schools Act, a basic school is obliged to admit a child of compulsory school age who has been assigned to that school as their local school based on their place of residence. A parent may also choose another school if there are places available at the school of their choice.

The specific procedures for school allocation, submitting applications and enrolment may vary between local authorities, so it is always worth checking the official information provided by your town or parish.

Common mistakes during the first few weeks of term

Expectations that were too high right from the start

A child doesn’t have to be the perfect pupil, organised, completely independent and friends with everyone all at once at the start of September.

It takes time to adapt.

Doing everything for the child

If a parent solves every little problem, the child has fewer opportunities to learn to cope on their own.

Comparing oneself with other children

One child reads faster, another finds it easier to make friends, and a third is better at practical tasks. It is more helpful to monitor the child’s own development rather than comparing them with their classmates.

Criticising the school or a teacher in front of a child

Disagreements between adults should be resolved between adults. A child should not be put in a situation where they feel they have to choose between a parent and a teacher.

Underestimating tiredness

The first few weeks of school can be very intense for a child. Feeling more tired than usual may be part of the adjustment process.

Dealing with every minor problem as it arises

Supporting a child does not mean removing every obstacle. Sometimes it is better to give the child the chance to think for themselves, try things out and ask for help if necessary.

It’s worth finding a new balance with hobby groups

As well as the start of the new school year, a new season of hobby groups and sports sessions begins in September.

If a child continues with an activity they are already familiar with and enjoys it, there is no reason to give it up automatically. When choosing new activities, however, it is worth keeping an eye on how much energy the child actually has left after the school day during the first few weeks of term.

For some children, an active after-school session suits them very well, whilst others need more quiet free time to begin with.

Frequently asked questions

How long does it take a child starting first grade to adjust to school?

There is no set timeframe. Some children get used to the new routine quickly, whilst for others it may take several weeks or longer to adjust. It is important to monitor whether the difficulties ease over time or, on the contrary, become more pronounced.

What should you do if your child is very tired after school?

During the first few weeks of September, it is quite normal to feel more tired than usual. A new daily routine, new people and new tasks all require a lot of energy. Getting enough sleep, having quieter evenings and keeping activities to a reasonable level after school can help.

How can you support your child when they’re going to school if they’re scared?

First of all, try to find out exactly what your child is afraid of. It is easier to tackle a specific problem than a general ‘I don’t want to go to school’ attitude. If the fear keeps recurring or gets worse, it is worth speaking to the class teacher or the school’s support specialist.

How much should a parent help with household chores?

A parent can help the child to understand the task, get started and plan their time, but where possible, the child should find the solution and complete the work themselves.

Should parents check their child’s school bag every day?

During the first few weeks, you can do this together with your child. The aim, however, should be for your child to gradually take more and more responsibility for their own schoolwork.

When should you speak to a teacher about your child’s difficulties at school?

If the concern recurs, gets worse or clearly affects the child’s well-being, sleep, eating habits, relationships or willingness to go to school, it is worth contacting the teacher sooner rather than later.

Is it normal for a child not to want to talk about their day after school?

Yes. After a long day at school, some children first need a rest, a meal or some exercise. You could try having a chat later and, instead of the general ‘How did it go?’, ask a more specific question.

Summary

The start of the school year does not end in 1 September.The real settling-in period takes place during the very first days and weeks of term.

Parents can help the most by ensuring that home life remains as calm and predictable as possible, that the child’s concerns are listened to, and that they are given time to get used to the new situation.

It is not necessary to shield a child from all difficulties. It is far more important to be there for them as they learn to cope more and more on their own.

If your child needs extra support with their learning, development or extracurricular activities, use Easyfind.ee to find a suitable specialist, hobby group or service provider for them.

Find out more about services for children and families →

Sources

• Official Gazette – Early Years Education Act and regulations governing the Estonian education information system.
• The Basic Schools and Upper Secondary Schools Act – principles governing the allocation of schools based on place of residence and school admissions.
• Ministry of Education and Research – early years education.
• Open School – supporting children starting school.
• Õpetaja.eu – advice from class teachers on how to support your child’s journey through school.

The legal and factual information in this article has been verified as at 2 September 2026. School operating procedures and local authority rules on admissions and school allocation may vary, so it is advisable to check specific details via the school’s or local authority’s official channels.